Keeping Home’s Blog

This week’s challenge is a thinking challenge. You’ll also need to write—or make a list.

Think of one of your most disliked homekeeping tasks (whether something you do or something you know you should do).

You know, no one is forcing you to do it. You are not a slave or a prisoner, being forced by someone else to do something they want done but which makes no sense to you (if you are, then we need to talk about something besides homekeeping . . .).

Why do you do it?

‘Cause you’ll get in trouble if you don’t—with the housekeeping police (which don’t exist), the neighbors, the health department? Surely you have a better reason than that. You are the mistress of your house, a queen in her domain.

Why do you do it?

Answer the question in essay form, or if you prefer, a list. Please come up with at least ten reasons. I really want you to think this thing through! You’re going to need some really good ammunition the next time you need to do the task and something in you says “no!” You need a “Yes!” with some power behind it!

Some possible reasons (just to help the thought process along):

I _______ because . . . .

• the _______ looks better when I do.
• I value cleanliness.
• it smells good, and smelling good is a good thing.
• it makes my children’s eyes sparkle.
• it saves me more trouble in the long run.
• I don’t like ______ (dust, dirt, bad smells, etc.).
• it lightens my husband’s burdens.
• I like the results.
• I think I should.
• I can only respect myself as a housekeeper when I do.
• I value my family’s health.

Okay? You can do this, right? Sure, you can.

This week’s challenge is a repost from last year.

Do you criticize your house/home?

“I hate this house!”

“This place is such a mess!”

“I despise this bathroom!”

“This place is awful!”

“I hate this carpet!”

“My living room is SO ugly.”

This week’s challenge is to not do that!

First, a word about criticism, which isn’t always a bad thing. The most basic definition of criticize is “to judge* the merits and faults of; evaluate” and thus of criticism, “the act of making judgments and evaluations.”

*To judge, in this context, means: 1) to determine or settle authoritatively after deliberation, 2) to form an opinion about, or 3) to think; consider; suppose.

Criticism, as it is most often used in everyday life, means faultfinding. However, a “music critic” or “literary critic” (for example) might review a piece and not find any fault with it at all. Criticism technically doesn’t have to be negative. It just depends on what the critic finds when evaluating the object of criticism and the attitude of the critic. Because of the way criticism is commonly used (both the word and the practice) it might be better to use the term critique whenever there might be any confusion, since it carries with it a much more positive connotation.

Now, how do you think of your home? Certainly it has faults. It may have many of them, whether in the house itself or in the appearance or function of the home due to its keeper or occupants. It is not really useful—or honest—to avoid ever saying anything negative about it.

But . . . Don’t be critical of your house. Be positive. Remember:

1) Criticism in the sense of critiquing assesses the thing under critique and points out both is good and bad traits. Ideally, it puts a positive spin on things by trying to encourage or build up while still being honest about problems. In common usage, we might call this “constructive criticism.”

2) Criticism, in the common sense, is:

Always negative

Usually harsh

Frequently exaggerated

If you’re “being critical of your home” you’re probably doing the second. Right? This is a “put down” instead of an honest, positive evaluation. This is what I don’t want us to do. This is the challenge for this week. Talk and think nicely about your house/home—even when things aren’t, in themselves, positive.

Be positive (some ways to do it)

Say good things and think good thoughts about your home. Surely there is something good! Are you thankful for it? Is it warm? Is it dry? Does anything about it work properly—or work at all? Is anything about it nice-looking? Is anything about it clean?

Make statements about your house without harshness and exaggeration.

Instead of “I hate this house” say (for example) “I don’t like the way this house is arranged” or “this is not an ideal house.”

Instead of “this place is such a mess” say something like “most of the rooms in our house are quite messy.”

Say something positive along with the negative. For example:

Instead of “I hate this house” say “I don’t like this house but I am thankful for it.”

Instead of “I despise this bathroom” say “there are a lot of things about this bathroom I don’t like but it is in a good location.”

Be specific instead just hurling insults.

Instead of “I hate this house” say “I don’t like the way this house is arranged” or “this house has a lot of problems” or something that expresses what you don’t like about it rather than expressing feelings of dislike.

Instead of “my living room is so ugly” be specific about what isn’t working. For example, “the living room is very cluttered and that makes it uncomfortable” or “everything is so rundown in here it looks like it isn’t even being lived in” or “the colors in the room tend to drag me down—they aren’t cheerful and restful.”

Focus on a solution rather than merely on the problem.

Instead of “I hate this carpet” you might say “this carpet is very dirty—I wonder how we could clean it or how much it would cost to replace it?” Or if those solutions have already been ruled out you might say “this carpet is very dirty but there isn’t anything I can do about it right now except be cheerful and clean it the best I can.”

Remember that you can always find all posts related to the weekly challenges in the Positive Homekeeping Weekly Challenges category. If you’re just joining, start at the beginning and catch up at a pace you can handle (while also doing the current challenge). If a challenge is repeated you may skip the repetitions to help you catch up faster.

Week #1

Starting over for the new year! Invite your friends ~ because week #1 is the best place to start.

Originally posted sometime in . . . April, I think.

The challenge for week #1 is to be positive about homekeeping.

What does it mean to be positive about homekeeping (and this means “housekeeping” and “homemaking” too)?

If you:

Despise homekeeping

Hate homekeeping

Resent homekeeping

Complain about homekeeping

Make fun of homekeeping

. . . you’re not being positive about homekeeping!

One of the most important ways to be positive about homekeeping is to consider homekeeping valuable and worthy of your attention.

If you despise homekeeping . . . you don’t consider it valuable or worthy of your attention. One of the definitions of despise is to have contempt for. Contempt means “a feeling that someone or something is inferior and undesirable.” If you truly despise homekeeping, why bother to even make any attempts at it?

If you hate homekeeping . . . you don’t consider it valuable and worthy of your attention. Do you hate things you value? Do you consider things you hate worthy of doing? If you truly hate homekeeping, why even try to make peace with it? You will find some aspects of it trying or unpleasant but that is far different than actually hating it.

If you resent homekeeping . . . that means you wish you didn’t have to do it or you think you shouldn’t have to do it. Is that the way people normally relate to things they value and consider worthy of their attention? If you truly resent homekeeping perhaps you’d better just forget it and be done with it.

If you complain about it (that is, complain about it’s burden in general or that you have to do it) . . . you apparently don’t consider it very important. People don’t put down things they appreciate. They don’t grumble about things they consider worthy of their attention. How often do you hear mothers grumble and complain about having to change their babies’ diapers? Not often. Most mothers are in love with their little ones. While they might not enjoy changing diapers they wouldn’t dream of griping about these little ministrations. Babies are wonderful, babies are dear. Babies are sweet, babies are special. Now, if homekeeping doesn’t have any value to you then I suppose complaining makes sense!

If you make fun of homekeeping . . . you have very little respect for it. Making fun of something (or someone) is a thing people do when they. . .

• Dislike it,
• Are embarrassed by it,
• Are amused by it (but nothing more),
• Think it has a rather inflated perceived value,
• Feel superior to it,
• Think it is ridiculous,
• Etc.

When people respect something (or someone)—that is, they hold it in high regard—they don’t make fun of it. It might be humorous at times but there is a vast difference between having fun and making fun of.

I know I have been rather harsh but it is very important that we honestly assess what we do, say, think, and feel.

If we’re going to succeed at homekeeping, we have to consider it valuable and worthy of our attention. If we don’t consider it valuable and worthy of our attention, why should we bother to do it?

We’ve reached a fork in the road of homekeeping. Is it a drudgery, a sort of slavery? Is it forced on us by our families, our neighbors, our friends, society, but of no real value to us? Is it something to be despised, hated, resented, endured, suffered through, made fun of, joked about, complained about, avoided, trudged through, but still, for some reason, done?

Or is it actually important, valuable, a blessing, worth doing, dear, priceless, fruitful, and good?

Believe in homekeeping and foster attitudes that reflect your belief in it as being something of value. If it’s worth doing, it is of value. If it’s worth your time, it’s worth your respect. If it’s worth your attention, it’s worth your regard.

Embrace it.